


Not That Easy

by sachspanner



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Divorce, F/M, Modern Era, POV Gwen, Partner Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 21:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sachspanner/pseuds/sachspanner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen and Arthur's marriage is coming to an end, and she ought to have seen it coming. Her betrayal, her love and her shame, all from her point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not That Easy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for LJ's love bingo, under the prompt 'Separation'.

Gwen woke up one morning with the realisation that she wasn’t the wife she thought she was. There was nothing particular about the morning, just an ordinary morning in late summer. She was comfortable, and happy in a way, but there was a problem.

This was not her bed, and Lance was not her husband.

It was cliché, in a way, seeking out her first love while her husband was in London, and she hated it. However, if it hadn’t been so trite, she daren’t have done it, and then she wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the long-forgotten scent of Lance’s hair.

She was not proud, but she could not regret this. It had only confirmed what she had known for a long time- she should not have married Arthur.

~ ~ ~

She made Arthur dinner. Not his favourite sausage casserole but something else she knew he liked. Chicken in breadcrumbs. Nice and tasty, but she wasn’t about to ruin his favourite food with what she had to tell him.

‘I need to tell you something,’ she said, steeling herself with a sip of wine.

Arthur smiled patiently. He had no idea. That smile, that calm expression. It was to be the last time she would see him in this relaxed, contented state. Their last moment as companions.

‘I went to see Lance while you were away. Not as a friend, but to… have sex with him. I think I love him.’

Arthur resumed cutting his food.

‘I think I knew you love him.’

Gwen didn’t want to eat any more. She waited in silence for a minute more, but he had nothing more to say.

‘What did you want to do?’ she asked.

‘Doesn’t your opinion matter more?’ he asked. ‘What do you want to do?’

‘I asked first.’

‘Don’t be so petty,’ he snapped. ‘You’ve slept with another man- my best man. At least… at least answer my questions.’

He tried to calm down, over-chewing his food.

‘I want to leave,’ Gwen said quietly.

‘Okay,’ Arthur nodded. ‘So do I. I hate it here.’

‘Wrexham?’ she asked.

‘Our home,’ he replied, looking her in the eye.

That look stung. She was torn between what was right and what was good: Lance, the love of her life, and Arthur, a man who did not deserve to have been caught up in this.

‘It’s not your fault,’ she said.

‘I know. It’s yours,’ he pushed away his plate. ‘I’m going to bed. We have a spare room, please use it.’

He left.

~ ~ ~

Gwen could almost feel him through the wall. The man she had shared her home with for nearly a year. She had moved house with him. They had been married at the same church as her parents, a quarter of a century later.

She knew she had rushed into getting married, but the death of her mother had made it somehow urgent to pay her some sort of tribute. What sort of tribute had this marriage been? They had not even lasted a year.

She couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t even going to try. She just opened a book and began to read; she read until she could barely hold her eyes open. Reading meant she didn’t have to think, and didn’t have to see the beautiful thing she had ruined.

They had such a beautiful wedding. The weather hadn’t been ideal, but everything had run like clockwork. Her dress had fit perfectly, the speeches had been good taste and the wine hadn’t even come close to running out- testament to Uther’s almost boundless generosity.

The only troubled moment of the entire day had come when Gwen and Arthur took the wedding car to the airport. Family and friends gathered around them, but Lance was nowhere to be seen. She should have known, when her heart sank, that this was more than a problem, but it was her wedding day. She shouldn’t think about Lance on her wedding day.

She had found out, later, that Lance had been helping a hideously drunk Merlin pour himself into his hotel room. That was just like Lance, to help someone in need, no matter how ill-timed.

Or perfectly timed. Why would Lance have wanted to watch her drive away to a life of marriage and devotion, when he had loved her for almost as long as he had known her? She had known it, and ignored it, thinking herself not good enough for him, and killing them both in the process.

Then there was Arthur.

~ ~ ~

Marriage had been fun, to begin with. Dinner parties, comfortable nights in and, of course, excited newlywed sex. Everything had been so new and delightful.

Now their life together had been reduced to three piles: his, hers, and theirs. The latter would have to be dealt with at a later date; Gwen didn’t even know where Arthur was, except that half a bottle of whisky appeared to have emptied itself shortly before his departure.

She knew him well- she was his wife after all. Much as she had not acted like it, she had cared for him, and had stood by him long enough to know he wouldn’t have gone far.

He would, most likely, have gone to see Merlin and Gwaine. He was still labouring under the misconception that the two were a couple, and Gwen hadn’t had the heart to tell him otherwise. He had been so happy for them- when Merlin lost Freya, Arthur had nearly been as devastated as he was.

Gwen decided to leave Arthur to it. Wherever he was, he would be with friends, and better friends than she had been these past two weeks.

All marriages begin with a friendship. If you can’t be friends, you can’t be in love. Still, just because your husband is your friend, it doesn’t mean you love him. Gwen had realised this, deep down, and her reasons for suppressing the realisation seemed so trivial in the end.

She hadn’t wanted to hurt him. That was all. She just hadn’t wanted to hurt him.

Most of their wedding gifts had ended up in the third pile, bar the casserole dish Merlin had bought them. Sausage casserole was Arthur’s favourite food, and to see him without a means of making it would hardly ease Gwen’s shame.

She had taken away the man’s foundations. She could not bear to steal something so precious from him. It was just a token, and it was only her guilt talking, but it was certainly better late than never.

~ ~ ~

‘So,’ Gwen said abortively.

‘Goodbye,’ Arthur nodded.

Gwen bit her lip.

‘We’re divorced.’

‘Yes. You’ll be okay.’

It wasn’t a question.

‘Will you?’ she replied.

‘I have my friends,’ he said sharply.

She did not. It was a kick in the guts; he’d kept all their friends.

‘Are we even, then?’ she asked.

‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘Not even close. But I can’t bear to see you hurt, not even now.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

‘The more you say it,’ he almost laughed, ‘the less it means. But I suppose I’m glad it’s over.’

‘Can we leave it there?’ she asked, blinking back the tears that had welled at the sight of Arthur’s bitterness.

He took a breath and held out a hand. She shook it. Then he was gone.

~ ~ ~  
~ ~ ~

**Author's Note:**

> Is a side-story to another story which is in the process of being written. If you fancy betaing 25 chapters for me, give me a shout.


End file.
